All Bottled Up

How resisting expression impacts your health

August 2025

(courtesy picpick.app)

by Vanessa LaFaso Stolarski, Contributing Columnist

We’ve all done it — forced a smile when we wanted to cry, swallowed our anger to avoid a conflict, or doom-scrolled our way through hurt or sadness on social media. Modern life offers endless opportunities to avoid emotional discomfort. We binge-watch TV or throw ourselves into work. Sometimes we turn to food or sweets, or even to excessive exercise, to numb what we’d rather not feel. While these tactics might provide some temporary relief, they may also set the stage for long-term health issues.

PHYSIOLOGY OF SUPPRESSION

When we resist feeling our feelings, our bodies react as if we’re under constant stress. The hypothalamic pituitary-adrenal axis — the body’s central stress response system — activates, flooding us with cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this chronic activation leads to:

• Heart strain: elevated blood pressure and increased risk of heart disease
• Weakened immunity: higher susceptibility to infections and slower healing
• Digestive issues: upset stomach, irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers
• Muscle tension: migraines, jaw pain and joint pain
• Sleep disturbances: trouble falling or staying asleep

Studies have linked emotional suppression to higher rates of chronic illnesses, including multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s disease, hypertension and even some cancers. As the legendary philosopher and psychotherapist Carl Jung once said: “What we resist, persists.”

In this case, resisting emotional processing can manifest in physical symptoms.

(courtesy picryl.com)

SIT WITH DISCOMFORT

So how can we break this cycle? The answer isn’t to wallow or wade deeper into our feelings. Instead, we need to learn to notice how our body is responding. Remember, emotions are simply sensations in the body that we allow to affect us.

• Get curious, not critical: Instead of judging yourself for having an emotional response, ask yourself, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”
• Tune into your body: Notice where you feel the emotion. A tight chest, clenched jaw and increased heart rate indicate nervous system activation. Track the sensations and notice them shifting or dissolving. Note how quickly the sensations pass through you.
• Name it to tame it: When you notice a strong emotion, pause and label it: “This is what anger feels like.” Avoid labeling yourself. You aren’t angry. You are only feeling anger.

A crucial aspect of this is keeping your mind out of the process. When an emotion lasts longer than a few minutes, your mind has become immersed in the narrative and is perpetuating the emotion. Stay present, stay focused and be aware of the independent sensations.

BENEFITS OF FACING FEELINGS

Allowing ourselves to experience the full spectrum of emotions isn’t a sign of weakness. It takes bravery to face our messy feelings and it cultivates resiliency so we may bounce back quickly. As we grow more comfortable with discomfort, our bodies relax, our minds clear and our relationships deepen. In the end, acknowledging and processing our feelings isn’t just good for our health — it’s essential to our longevity.